THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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