haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
