My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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