My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Two words: blizzard sex
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
