dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
