She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I will be naked everywhere
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
