I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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