Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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