okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
