If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
It's shark week go big or go home
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
