If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he fucked my hip out of place.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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