kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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