I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
