Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The power of my boobs compel you
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
