what if every blade of grass was a penis?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
