I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
