Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Randomize
