Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
