What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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