goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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