glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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