You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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