i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I have tasted many bathrooms
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
