I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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