This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
