New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
