Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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