i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
