oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
