Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
