Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
