I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
