in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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