It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
