But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
