i may or may not be watching the land before time
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
