I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I did not marry a roomba.
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