Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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