She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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