I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
