i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
