he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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