goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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