I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
