So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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