How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
