i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
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