the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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