Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
