living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
